Big-Hearted

I was exhausted today. All day long. I had already mentally checked out last night, because I wasn’t planning to work today (it’s Friday!)- just hang out with 2 of my 3 boys, but I barely had the energy to do that. We ventured out for a walk to the children’s store down the road and stopped a friend’s to feed the chickens (just 2 of my many favorite things about my neighborhood).

Later in the afternoon, I stumbled across a random Instagram feed with “Simple Questions to ask your Spouse.” They were mostly silly, like, “If you couldn’t find your spouse in the supermarket, where would you look first?” (Jeff said he would look in the home goods). The next question was, “Ask your spouse to describe you in 3 words.” He said…

Loving, Driven, Big-Hearted.

I was surprised. Big-Hearted. I thought he would say something more negative, not because he doesn’t think the best of me, but because he likes to pick. And because I also spent my tired, energy-deficient day watching the video of Renee Good’s death on repeat, I thought maybe that’s what he sees. Not a bleeding heart as I sometimes feel, but as big-hearted. Maybe they’re the same, but it feels good to think of it as a positive asset.

Whenever anything tragic occurs, and Renee Good’s death is so much more than a tragedy, but especially at the hands of a fragile man, I look to my boys and remind myself how important my job is. On a ‘lazy’ day where I don’t have the energy to work, I am still working at raising boys. My wish for them is that they are kind, confident, empathetic, funny, loving, and most of all, big-hearted.

my wild crew